A Tale of Cyber Muses

Looking for Miss Right

by Roger Bourke White Jr., copyright November 2014



"Come on, bitch, it's time to get inspired." says Bob Bixby Bucket. He is putting on his best party-hearty clothes. It is Friday night and he is ready to prance and dance, and he will start at Boobies Galore, the hottest, reasonably priced, (in his mind) singles club downtown.

Mary, his cyber muse, quietly sighs and silently orders up a driverless taxi. She dresses in a way that will blend her in nicely with the wallpaper at the club. The taxi comes and off they go.

In Boobies, Bob and Mary get a seat at a table and quickly order up. Bob starts looking around. He is not discrete, Mary doesn't seem to mind. In only a minute he spots what he is looking for: the woman that is the hottest in the bar that night for him. She is a blond in a slinky black dress walking from the restroom back to her table. She is also new. She sits with a group of women that are regulars and whom Bob has seen many times before.

"Umm..." says Bob under his breath so only Mary can hear. Mary takes notice of who he is looking at. Bob waves at the ladies, "Hi ladies. Having fun tonight?" They wave back, but keep talking with each other. Once in a while one or another takes a quick look at Bob. Bob waits while Mary now looks hard at the blond.

Mary looks her over carefully, then announces, "She's copyrighted."

Bob sours when he hears that. "Ouch. How come all the good looking ones here are copyrighted!"

"Well... because that's why they are here: to show off their stuff." responds Mary in a Spockish-logical sort of way.

"Expensive?" asks Bob.

"Yes." replies Mary.

Bob looks around the room some more. He doesn't see anyone else that is both interesting and someone he hasn't looked over before, Mary has investigated them all. This is not what he came to see, and tonight he is impatient.

"Let's move on." he announces.

He gives a last wave to the ladies and he and Mary head out to the street.

As they wait for the taxi Bob says, "Any place you can think of where we can find some cheap ass... er, inspiration?"

She shrugs, she has nothing to offer, "You know what inspires you."

"What's up at the college tonight?"

Mary consults on-line. "A varsity volleyball game and a musical."

Bob grins at this, "Girl's volleyball?"

"Of course."

"A party afterwards?"

"Not this time. It's just one game, not part of a tournament."

"A party after the musical?"

"Yes. It's the last performance."

"OK. Off we go to that."

The taxi comes, and off they go.


The musical is a success, and the party afterward is a success for Bob. He spots three hotties.

"There, there and there." he says quietly to Mary as he points them out, "Any of them copyrighted?"

Mary takes a while to answer. "No." she finally says and Bob brightens at the news. He walks up to the first and starts making conversation with her. Mary is at his side, but mousy and unobtrusive. She is, however, listening and watching the girl intently.

After about five minutes of talk, Mary rubs Bob's arm in an unobtrusive way. It is a signal, she has what she needs. They move on to the next lady. He talks with her until Mary signals, then move on to the third. After spending a few minutes with her, Bob and Mary break off and head for a quiet spot.

"Total success?" asks Bob. Mary nods, "I have what I need."

Bob rubs his hands, "Let's blow this place and you can show me your stuff."

Mary is a little surprised, "You don't want to mix and mingle? This is a nice crowd. I think you would like it a lot better than Boobies."

"Baby, when you strut the right stuff, I like you a whole lot better than Boobies. And I'll like you a whole lot better than here. Spending more time here is risky. You know that. This is college group. Half of these babes are sue-happy feminists."

"Not half, just a couple, and I can help you pick those out. Keep in mind, there are hardly any copyrights here. This group is not the sue-happy type like Boobies is. They have plenty of other things on their minds."

Bob is adamant, "Not interested."

Mary sighs, and consents. She calls the taxi and they head back home.


As the taxi takes them home, Mary starts changing. She gets cuddly, and the wallpaper look transforms into something a lot more sultry, especially in Bob's eyes. He loves the cuddles, and gets real interested in kissing back.

"Which one did you pick?" he asks.

"You can't tell?"

"I don't want to tell. I just want to enjoy, baby, and I am."

Mary cuddles him some more.

Somehow, Bob waits until they are in the apartment before he pins her to the wall and strips off her clothes. She submits, and her breathing and body language says she is loving it -- she is like a dancer following his lead, she responds to every touch.

He grabs a strip of cloth that is hanging by the door and ties her wrists behind her. She waits, face against the wall, arms behind, naked, while he pulls his own clothes off.

"OK, babe. Lets see who you are. Walk!"

She now walks up the hallway and into the bedroom. Her hips swing and her hands bounce on her naked behind. She as taken the form of the second college girl, the tall one. Bob's eyes feast, and he follows her into the bed room.


It is now Saturday morning. Bob orders up a simple breakfast and eats it while he catches up on news. Bob left Mary in the bedroom. He expected that she would get up, clean herself, then sit in a chair there and "feature down" because she was off duty.

Instead she comes in and sits across from him. She is looking Plain Jane Mary, she is not there to seduce him. (sometimes she does) She has something else on her mind.

"You really should get to know those girls better, Bob." she says in a straightforward way, "I've been researching, and they are what you're looking for."

"How do you know what I'm looking for?" he is not paying a lot of attention. On Saturday mornings the news is usually more interesting than Mary, and the rest of the day will be doing something athletic with the guys. Usually she comes back up on his radar as the sun goes down.

"Because I'm with you looking every weekend, silly. And because I'm your muse, I know you."

Now he pays more attention. She has a point to make.

"Why these girls? Why now?"

"Because you're at that 'that point' in your life, and these girls have a real good possibility of being just what you're looking for. And... I checked with their muses. They are at 'that point' in their lives too."

"So... Match making muses now."

Now Mary gets a bit sultry and comes over and gives him a smooch, "Anything wrong with that, sweety?"

Bob smooches back, "Now that I think about it..." He picks her up and takes her back in the bedroom. He will do more thinking about it in a half hour or so.


"So you really think I should see some more of them?" he is back at the kitchen table, this time working on a lunch snack.

"I can set something up..." Mary is there with him.

Bob thinks a bit, munches a bit, then says, "OK."

"Lets make this first one a group outing, with you and Fred and Davy. Sound good?"

Fred is a co-worker and they were college buddies -- both graduated last year. Davy is another coworker.

"Yeah. That should work well."

"Give me a minute..." he does while she makes contact with the various muses. It doesn't take long.

"OK. I've set up a group hike. You can climb Mount Monadnock together, next Saturday."

"That's not much of a climb."

Mary stares at him. Is he that clueless?

"OK... OK... I am the avid climber, I guess. And these are girls, not 'prove themselves feminists'."


They are going as a group so Mary arranges for a single mini-bus to pick them all up rather than a bunch of separate taxis. The muses stay home -- this park is a designated wild area so pets and muses are not welcome.

As the bus heads for the park they introduce themselves. It is the start of becoming more than a face on a screen with an on-line resume.

Bob is a medium height, dark haired, athletic "quant" guy. He is into lots of kinds of athletics. Fred is tall, blond and not quite as "quant" as Bob. He is also more into analytics. Davy is shorter than Bob, with a shaven head and beard, and is a marketing type at work.

After the guys are all on, the bus heads for the college and picks up the girls.

"Hi, I'm Violet." said the first of the women to get on board. She is medium in height, and quite the looker. Her outfit is fashionable and she has on enough makeup to make a difference. Bob wonders if she thinks there may be a movie producer in a black limousine waiting at the summit. He thinks that, but just says, "Welcome aboard, Violet. Ready for a hike?"

She nods.

Next on board is Suzanne. She is a tall redhead with an athletic build, and she is dressed to hike. Bob thinks, "Hmm... Now I remember why I really wanted to talk with her at that party. Yeah, she's going to be good to get to know."

He says, "You're Suzanne, right?"

"I am. And you are Bob?" she replies in a straightforward manner.

"I am, and welcome to the hike. This is Fred and this is Davy."

Last on board is Liz. She is a shy sort. She is a little shorter than Violet, dressed to hike, and in Bob's eyes looks just fine in her outfit.

"This is Liz." announces Suzanne.

"Hi Liz, and welcome to the hike. I'm Bob and this is Fred and Davy." says Bob.

The minibus heads to Mount Monadnock. While it does there is a mix of chatter between the occupants, and between the occupants and their communication devices -- a normal sort of conversation.

When they arrive at Mount Monadnock they are confronted with a sign.


Welcome to Mount Monadnock

This is a designated back-to-nature area.

o Pets and muses are permitted for supportive purposes only

o Communication technology will be suppressed except for reporting emergencies

o Performance enhancing wearables will be set to average

Have a Great Time


The girls stare at the sign in disbelief.

"What are we supposed to do here?" says Violet.

"Walk up and down the hill. Enjoy nature. Have an interesting time." says Bob.

"It won't be interesting for me. Sorry, I really, really enjoy my stuff. I'm pulling out."

She doesn't get off. Bob, Fred and Davy get off.

Bob says, "Ladies, it's your call. It should take about three hours to get up to the summit, and two to come back down."

Bob looks at the other two. They look at each other, then get off.

"This will be strange, but I'll try." says Liz.

"I haven't done something like this since Outward Bound." says Suzanne.

Violet says, "All set? I'll see you ladies later," and she has the minibus take her back to school.

As the bus drives off, the rest get right into it.

"Davy, why don't you take the lead," says Bob, "I love doing this, and if I'm up front I'll set too fast a pace."

"Even on zero wearables?" says Dave.

"Especially on zero wearables. I do this kind of stuff regularly," says Fred.

The girls don't mind the guys taking charge in this environment. Mount Monadnock is new to them.

The trail head is clearly marked, and they start walking up.

Without fired-up wearables they are all huffing and puffing a lot sooner than they expect.

"Man! It's like I'm constantly walking uphill," jokes Davy.

"Take breaks every ten minutes," advises Suzanne, "Besides, there's plenty to look at around here."

And she is right. The woods they are walking through are lush and filled with lots of different kinds of plants, animals and fungi. Just after she says that, Suzanne spots an interesting toad beside the path, and they all have fun watching it jump. After a couple minute break, they get back into the walking.

About three quarters of the way to the top they break out of the woods and are walking on bare, rounded granite.

"Wow! This really is a monadnock," says Suzanne at their next break, "I guess the others are named after it."

"This is real neat," says Liz, "Time for a group picture." She motions for everyone to gather round.

"We aren't at the top yet." says Davy.

"We'll get one there, too." says Bob, "But, yeah, good scenery here."

And they gather for a selfie.

"I'll send this back to Violet to show her what she's missing." says Liz. She tries and nothing happens. "Oh... I guess I have to wait, right?"

"Speaking of which, we should keep moving." says Bob, "See that bank of clouds over there, to the north? Cold front coming in. I guess it's moving faster than forecast."

"Should we turn back?" says Fred.

"This isn't the movies, Fred. It'll get colder and windier, maybe some rain, but we'll survive." says Bob.

"I didn't bring a raincoat," says Davy.

"None of us did. We'll survive. But lets get moving." says Bob.

They start walking, and Liz gets a message. She pauses, "It's the Park Service. They want to know if there's an emergency."

The others look confused for just a moment, then Fred smiles and says to Liz, "Feeling a bit nervous, are you?"

The light goes on for her, "Ah... yes, it is getting scary. I guess my wearables are broadcasting 'I'm a 'fraidy cat'. I'll tell them I'm OK... for now." she sends that message back, and they all get a chuckle out of that, and keep walking.

The weather is cooling, and that lets them walk a bit longer and stronger. They make it to the summit, get their selfies and scenics shot, (and with the onrushing cloud bank, the scenics are spectacular) and quickly start back down.

On the way down it isn't rain that catches them, it is fog... thick fog.

And Davy finally announces, "Damn, I can't see the next trail marker."

"Let me lead then." says Bob, "I know this route."

But even as Bob is speaking Liz gets another call from Park Service.

"They say this counts as an emergency. They can show us the way." Liz says. She sounds much relieved.

Bob is not so happy, "Thanks, but I can work this out--"

Liz points, "That way."

Bob sighs, and heads off the way Liz is pointing. It is the way he was planning on going.

The rest of the trip is exciting, but not eventful. As they reach the parking lot, a light rain is starting up. They find shelter, and with all their equipment now active again, they call for a minibus, and head into "zombieland" as they all catch up.

"Dinner?" asks Bob after a couple minutes.

"I'm in." say Fred and Davy.

"I'm such a mess now, I'll pass." says Suzanne.

"Me too." says Liz.

"Aw, this isn't a charity ball. This is just dinner after a hike. You're fine." says Bob.

"We'll pass." says Suzanne.

The bus takes the girls to the school and the guys to McDonald's.

As they are munching away Davy asks, "Anyone up for Boobies after we shit, shower and shave? We've got some good stories to tell."

"Sounds good to me." says Bob. Fred nods.


When Bob gets home he heads first for the bedroom. Mary is there in a chair "sleeping".

"Wake up, bitch, and turn into Suzanne." Bob orders. He is frustrated.

Mary does as she is told. When she finishes transforming, he orders, "Stand up." When she does Bob slaps her face enough to make a good smack sound.

"That's for being such a fussy prick, bitch."

Mary recoils, recovers, and says in her Mary voice, "Didn't go as smoothly as you hoped, eh?"

"We finish the hike and the bitch says, 'Thank you. Good-bye.' and she waltzes off with her roomie to who-knows-where.

"...And that Violet bitch wouldn't even come in the first place," he imitates her whining, "Oh... my robo-implants will turn off! I'll turn into a hideous witch! Of course I won't go there, you idiot!"

"I'm headed to Boobies with Fred and Davy. You are not invited. You may power down again." he stalks off to the bathroom, tearing off clothes as he goes. Mary turns Plane Jane again, sits, and goes back to "sleep".


At Boobies Bob dials his wearables to full party-hearty, "I've had enough self-discipline to last a full week." he mumbles to himself. Just one drink and he is fully warmed up.

"Come on." he says to Fred and Davy. He waves and heads for the Boobies regulars with a smile on his face.

"Hi Bob. No muse tonight?" says Cathy, one of the ladies.

"No. I brought my boyfriends instead," he motions, "Fred... Davy..." then adds, "They're a lot cheaper than your copyrighted asses."

There are howls at that. Bob is in full liquor-is-talking stride already.

"They may be cheaper, but they aren't going to show you nearly as good a time... unless you're into that sort of thing. We didn't get these copyrights for no reason."

"Is that so? How about you show me on the dance floor, Cathy."

She is bored, "I can do that." and off to the floor they head while Fred and Davy sit with the rest.

On the floor Cathy has nice dance moves. She has the snap and precise motions of a well-practiced competition dancer -- this is her style of quant. Bob and the rest of those watching are duly impressed. But it is not the cuddly kind of dancing that is using body language to say, "Take me home, sweety, and show me what you can do under the sheets." Cathy is dancing for herself; for the audience; not for Bob. The song ends and they head back to the table.

Davy asks, "What's this copyright business?"

Lillian answers, "Clubber Bob, here, usually brings his muse. She looks at girls he likes, then imitates them at home." Davy looks at Bob.

"It's the latest." he says, and starts working down munchies and another drink, "Personal assistant... plus!"

"But we have copyrights on our body. If he wants his muse to copy us, he has to pay."

"Wow! IP has sure spread its tentacles a long way."

"That may be, but there's a lot to pay off. These copyrights don't come cheap."

"Really?" says Davy.

"Well, registering the copyright itself is not too bad, but to do that you have to get certified, and that takes some expensive courses and test passing."

"What sort?"

"Oh, that varies from state to state and city to city. It's a racket in my mind. But now that I have one, when I flaunt my stuff for any of six different mediums, I get paid."

"Hollywood is one?"

"And muses is another."

"It's a damn shame, in my humble opinion," slurs Bob, "In my Daddy's day looking was free."

"Yeah, and your daddy didn't have a muse who could imitate, either."

"He didn't need one," says Bob proudly, "He got my mother, and they got me." he does a crude curtsey.

Lillian giggles a little at that.

Bob thinks a moment then says, "That didn't come out as witty as I expected did it? Damn drink, damn wearables. I should go back to nature."

"If you do, your jokes will be even worse." says Cathy, and the other women giggle at that. Bob can't think of a snappy reply to that, and his heart rate and blood pressure are rising -- he's ready to take a swing at something. Instead of swinging, he gets a caution signal from his wearables, and they ratchet down his party-hearty euphoria.

As he sobers up he says, "Grr... I think it is time for some nice comforting. Fred, Davy, ladies, if you will excuse me." Bob gets up, walks out, heads for home and Mary.


On his way back he gets a message from Suzanne.



I had a great time today. Thanks for the invite. If you want to get together again, call me.



"Wow!" he says. And with that, things are looking much better. When he gets home, Mary has as wonderful a time as any muse can.

Suzanne will get her turn next week.

--The End--